How You Doin’ Blondie?

Bitter? Oh, juste en peu
May 14, 2008, 10:16 pm
Filed under: Freedom Fries, International, Life, sex, Translation | Tags: , ,

So check this out: someone used the Google Language toolbar to translate my post “Once Upon A Time, There Lived A Princess,” into French. My anger has gone international, I have truly arrived.

A few fun facts: there is apparently no French equivalent for the word “bitter” when it is used in place of “resentful”; the French word for “fucks” (when used as an action verb) is “chevaux baise; and the phrase “in the ass” in French is “dans le cul.”

You Got To Make That Money, Honey.

Another little fun discovery: the¬†phrase¬† “assholes ‘men relationships’ ” returns my blog.

Why would you enter those words, in that order, into a search engine? What are you hoping to discover? That you’re not alone? That there are other women who think that the men they are engaged in relationships with believe their partners are assholes too?

Honey, that’s a given.

What you should have entered, instead of “assholes ‘men relationships'”, is “assholes ‘gifts he gives'”. Because all men are assholes, and all men know it. So it’s not about whether or not your man is an ass, it’s whether or not you make him pay for it. If he crushes your soul on a weekly basis and you’re not walking away with a minimum of 10,000 a month in un-taxable income, that relationship just isn’t working, sweetheart.