How You Doin’ Blondie?

The Plot [among other things] Thickens
October 19, 2007, 4:33 am
Filed under: love, lust, Men, relationship, sex | Tags: , , , , ,

When He and I were at the bar that night, an incredibly intoxicated and/or terribly misguided guy got up on “stage” to serenade us with a little Kid Rock. I scrunched up my nose in general distaste and asked Him if He was a fan of Kid Rock, and He admitted liking a few of his songs. Then, to elaborate, He said there was really only one song of Kid Rock’s He enjoyed, and although He couldn’t remember the name of it, there was a line that went “I want to fuck you like I’m never going to see you again.” Was He dropping a hint that just flew right over my naive head? Or is He really into that song? I looked up the lyrics, the song is called “So Hott”:

You got a body like a devil and you smell like sex

I can tell you’re trouble but I’m still obsessed

Because you know you’re so hot, I want to get you alone

So hot, I wanna get you stoned

So hot, I don’t want to be your friend

I want to fuck you like I’m never gonna see you again

You’re like the kiss of death, like the hand of fate

I can tell you’re trouble but I still want a taste

Because you’re so hot I want to get you alone

I want to get you stoned

I don’t want to be your friend

I want to fuck you like I’m never gonna see you again


I’m telling you, that Kid Rock is a hopeless romantic.

But more importantly, what was He saying when He told me this was His favorite song? Was He trying to tell me He wants to fuck me like He’s never going to see me again? Because logistically that wouldn’t work out. I mean He can fuck my brains out, that’s fine, but we live right across the street from each other, so He’s going to see me again. Or am I reading into it entirely too much? I’m not exactly sure how much He’d had to drink when all this happened, but He seemed lucid. Of course when we got back to His house He certainly made like He had every intention of fucking me like He’d never see me again (not that I minded overmuch). Maybe I should just be flattered that I’m so hot and I smell like sex?

The Man Next Door

What is he not understanding? Do I have to literally say to him “I find you very attractive, please ask me out on a date so we can explore this relationship further”? I’ve dropped so many hints, OBVIOUS hints, so many, obvious, hints in fact that I can’t in good conscience believe that they’re flying over his head. He said that he couldn’t believe I was actually interested in him, maybe that’s what’s setting him back. I want to just grab him by the shoulders and scream “BELIEVE IT! I’m 24 and you’re 41 AND I DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT! I am a tall blonde TKO and I WANT YOU! DEAL WITH IT!” Is it really that difficult to process? He isn’t the doormat type, so I know he couldn’t possibly be waiting for me to make the first move. Plus, he’s old enough to belong to the generation that privately abhors the overly assertive female anyway, so if he thought I was the type to invite HIM on a date, I doubt very seriously we’d have even made it this far in our relationship. You know what the funny thing is though (and by funny, of course I mean bitterly/tragically ironic), he said his initial intention was to set me up with one of his buddies at the firehouse, Keith. In retrospect, I thought it was kind of odd that every time he talked about getting together at a bar sometime, he always managed to work in how “Keith and all the guys” would be there. Like I knew who he was talking about or something. Um, hello, brand-new to the neighborhood (not to mention the STATE), do you THINK I know who Keith is? Do you think I care? It’s not Keith’s house I’m trying to get invited back to now, is it? He said he thought I’d be good for Keith because he figured I was too young for him, but what he really meant was all he ever saw me in were my work-out clothes, we always ran into each other while I was out walking my dog. He said he realized I wasn’t “right” for Keith about 2 minutes after I walked into the bar to meet him that night. Yeah, no kidding, 2 minutes huh? And you know why that is? Because 2 minutes is how long it took is eyes to come back into focus after he saw me. And he kept touching me, lightly nudging my leg or my arm under the pretense of getting my attention, when really he knew my attention was all his from the beginning. And the bar was loud, so he’d lean in really close so he could talk into my ear, and it gave me goosebumps. He has me hooked, and he HAS to know, so why hasn’t he called? I knew not to expect anything until today because he had his kids from Tuesday until Sunday, but Monday and Tuesdays are his nights without kids! So what’s the deal? I texted him and told him I had a good time and told him that I hoped we could do it again sometime. Is that not the PERFECT set-up for a guy to arrange a second date? Do you know what he did? Nothing. Not a single thing. No text back or anything. Well guess what, I don’t like playing games. If he doesn’t make a decision soon, I’m moving on, and it’ll be his loss.

Hey, it’s not bragging if it’s true.