How You Doin’ Blondie?


Barbie Strong
April 11, 2008, 9:34 pm
Filed under: Life | Tags: , ,

I strolled into his office today looking for all the world like Daisy Duke herself (minus the brunette coiffure, of course). I’m fairly sure he thought I’d entered the wrong door by mistake, his little hole in the wall is shoved in between Hollywood Tan and Le Nails. Nonetheless, he was very professional and only gave me a head-to-toe appraisal (with brief but noticeable pauses at my breasts) four times. After he shook my hand he guided me to a seat opposite his Office Max desk and asked how he could help me. I told him I wanted to know if there was a place for me in the U.S. Armed Forces and to his tremendous credit, he did not immediately reply with “Hell yeah, on my lap.” He did, however, look more then a little incredulous and I had to repeat myself before he shuffled some papers around and asked, “Uh, well, are you at least 18 years of age?” I snorted and almost replied with “Honey, I’ve been 18 since I was 14,” but instead opted for a more subdued “Yes.” He asked me a few more questions, very basic things really, but my favorite part of the interview came when he asked if  I’d like to take advantage of the Army’s offer to send me to school, free of charge. I replied that no, in fact, I already hold a degree in Applied Mathematics, but I would be interested in any loan forgiveness programs (he regretfully informed me that unfortunately, the University of Pennsylvania will bleed me dry until the day I shuffle off this mortal coil, and there’s not much he can do about it).

I didn’t sign anything (much to his disappointment), but I’m one step closer. 

I’ll bet you I actually sleep through the night, tonight.