How You Doin’ Blondie?

Analyze This
June 15, 2008, 10:23 pm
Filed under: advice, dating, Life, Men, relationships | Tags: , , , ,

Mark and I went out on our third date on Friday night. At least, I think it was a date. Regardless, we spent time with each other for the third time since he made that first clear move by asking me for my phone number. So for all intents and purposes, it was a date. Although I think it was also one of those “tests” guys administer, like the “See if My Boys Like Her” test.

We spent the evening bar-hopping with the two men Mark has been friends with since childhood, and then we went for a drunken, late-night swim in one of said childhood friends’ pool. I’m pretty sure everything went well. I mean I was “one of the boys” in high school, I know how they think, it’s not hard to fit in with them. Add to that the fact that Mark’s friends’ are pretty cool guys, and I’m pretty sure everything went well.

So what I am obsessing over? Why, I’m so glad you asked.

At the end of the night Mark and I went back to his house, and we did what most inebriated, physically compatible people do. Still no home-runs, but definitely a solid triple.

Well actually, only one of us got to third base…the other one of us has only made it to first.

One of us was pleasured orally, for a long time.

After one of us came from said pleasure, one of us tried to return the favor, but was politely rebuffed with an, “I like to take things slow, it’s a trust issue. I just want to hold you right now.”

Guess who got politely rebuffed, folks?

Yes, that’s right, it was me, I was the one…I’ll give you a second to digest that.

Now do you see what I’m obsessing over? Never in my life have I had a man turn down a blow job…at least not without a hand job to stand in it’s place. Mark wanted NOTHING. He REALLY DID just hold me and gently kiss my face until we fell asleep.

So ever since Friday night, I’ve been obsessing over that incident. Did I do something wrong? Why didn’t he want me to touch him? He was completely naked, just like me, and the lights were out (which is another thing – I couldn’t see a mother fucking thing. I usually leave the lights on, but he turned every single damn one of them off), so what possible insecurity could there be left?

He can’t POSSIBLY be concerned about penis size, does he REALLY think I’m expecting Magic Johnson?

But if he’s not insecure, what is it? He certainly isn’t conservative…holy shit, or is he? He told me he was incredibly “Straight Edge” in high school – but we’ve never discussed anything like religion or faith. He swears, and he drinks, so how overtly moral can he be?

I can’t help but think, though, that I’ve done something wrong. We went out on Friday night, and I haven’t heard from him since. That fact in itself doesn’t necessarily alarm me, it was Father’s Day weekend, I do know he had plans to go to the shore. But there is a tiny part of me that is slightly concerned I’ve scared him off, or intimidated him in some way. He seemed just fine Saturday morning, but still…

Seriously guys, I need some input on this one. PLEASE.


14 Comments so far
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Ok Blondie, you asked for it – sorry, but, it could be one or more of:

1) He could have a performance issue with excessive alcohol & didn’t want to embarrass himself.

2) He could have a Herpes outbreak.

3) He could have Genital Warts (HPV).

4) Or, he’s a giver like me, but he just wanted nothing in return.

Comment by Tim

oh, thats weird, but something kinda like that happened to me. i wrote about it in my blog. it drove me nuts.
i’m thinking that number one of the above comment could have something to do with it. he’ll call… i’m willing to bet $ on it.

Comment by elisabeth82

Blondie I’m glad you’re back.. Let it go..There could be a number of things that caused him to be the way he is.. Don’t blame yourself..
I don’t know how old he is but let me share a few years of expeience with you.
When men are young and they get that dream date, it is common practice to Jack Off before leaving the house, that way you can hang in there longer..well add alcohol to that and you can guess what happens..
If he really sees you as the girl of his dreams then he has prepared well for this fishing trip…lots of good bait on a decent hook and the fish will be on the wall forever..

I think the guy really likes you and is trying to convince himself he deserves you..and at the sametime making sure he doesn’t fuck it up.. Hang in there and don’t over think it.

Comment by theroadnow

He could be saving himself for marriage.

theroadnow could have one of the reasons, I’ve only read about that in a magazine once, have never heard of that happening from anyone (but who talks about it…). During a dry spell of course, before a date? Huh? That would be the last thing I would before the date. There would be intense anxiety of thinking of not performing later and it would eat me up (no pun intended) :-). Was he over-relaxed all night or shy/anxious about going home??

I find it more enjoyable to give always, in fact, that’s one of the best things in life!

So yea Blondie, it’s not you, no way.

It’s probably one of those reasons…


Comment by Tim

Oh, and, why would he have it pitch black in there??

It would be polite to have at least a small light on in the other room for a sliver of light coming in the room.

Comment by Tim

It could have been performance anxiety on his part. You said he went down on you for a long time perhaps he stayed down there while he was trying to get it up, then finally gave up, could have been nerves, booze… who knows.

Comment by lostspartan77

If comments from me are still accepted: He probably can’t get an erection, or at least one that will last for any length of time! As far as the alcohol excuse… Only an excuse for shortcomings. It works wonders for me! Especially Tequila, Unless I pass out…then I don’t give a flying shit! Maybe he thinks you’re too Hot to handle!….yeah keep thinking this!

Comment by palegrayforguilt

You’re waaaaaaaaaay over analyzing this Blondie. As previous comments say, maybe he didn’t wack off before the date, maybe he was too drunk, maybe he was plagued by shrinkage at that moment, maybe he feels inadequate, maybe he was just too damn tired and needed some rest. By the way, does he know about your previous Card Girl life? If so, maybe he was worried that you’d pull a card and score his performance!

I have to ask again though. Was there a dog in the room watching? That could pretty much bring upon shrinkage in a hurry.

Comment by jmjorat

i thought this was every girl’s fantasy? Am i wrong? Another possibility is that he’s gay and going down on you was cool, but the other way around would have been too crazy for him? he just might be a “nutballer”

Comment by dodgychander

Everybody – Thank you. I have come to the conclusions that 1.) I am probably knee-deep in the process of losing my mind and 2.) All of you are right and I need to just relax.

Also, I am slightly embarrassed that I am such a whack job.

Comment by How You Doin Blondie

I think you’re swell. It’s ok if he wasn’t. 🙂

Comment by Tim

So you think your a Whack job…Whack Jobs don’t tell the world.. So I guess that means your are alright..Yep your Ok…


Comment by theroadnow

Too many variables to tell.

But the more I drink, the harder it is for me to, er, complete the process. And because I fancy myself as one who respects women, I don’t want to just bang away at someone’s mouth all night with no relief possible until I drink about a half gallon of water.

Just my two cents.

Comment by t4toby

Sooooooo, did he give it up yet…? 🙂

Comment by Tim

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