How You Doin’ Blondie?


Ladies and Gentlemen, Poet Laureate Robert Sylvester Kelly:

    I heard a song the other day, and the lyrics in the opening chorus gave me pause. The name of the song [and I use the term very, very loosely] is “Make it Rain”; penned by Messrs. “Lil’ Wayne” and “Fat Joe,” featuring a guest appearance by R.Kelly. As a woman, I should be offended by the chauvinistic and frankly degrading lyrics Mr. Kelly is crooning; but as someone who considers themselves a novice at the game the big boys play, I was highly entertained by the song’s stark materialistic and animalistic overtures:

“I be drilling these chicks like Major Payne
When I make it rain, they be like ‘Kell… do it again’
From the club to the coupe, inside my gates
Up in my bedroom screaming each other’s name
They was perty perty, and I was flirty flirty
Lil’ dro, lil’ bub now they gettin’ dirty dirty
Don’t ask me what my name is, stupid bitch I’m famous
You gon’ make me aim this, leave your ass brainless
I’m tryin’ to stay R&B but these streets is a part of me
So don’t get it twisted
You see I order one bottle, then I talk with one model
Then I order more bottles, now I got more models
I’m from that city where them niggas don’t play me
I take a chick to my room like cave man
So ask your girlfriend my name, I bet she go
‘Skeet Skeet Skeet Skeet, Weatherman ’bout to make it rain!’”

 

I particularly enjoy the line wherein Robert raps incredulously, “Don’t ask me what my name is, stupid bitch I’m famous.” I simply must find an opportunity to use that line…perhaps during my tete-a-tete with Diane Sawyer when I’m identified as [insert powerful man’s name of your choice here]’s proverbial “side dish”…

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12 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Just found your blog, and I enjoy your writing. But I can’t tell if this satire or not . .

Comment by Joe

Mostly satirical…the level of arrogance it took to actually sing those words both amuses and disgusts me…and the bit about Diane was a joke, I’ve never had sex with a(n) [acting] governor 😉

Comment by How You Doin Blondie

Only with retired (impeached) governors?

Comment by Joe

Your blog has become my side dish.

Adam

Comment by theroadnow

To Joe – certainly not any impeached governors, I don’t “do” sloppy seconds [smile impishly here]

Comment by How You Doin Blondie

To Adam – I can handle being a cyber side dish, that just SOUNDS like fun 🙂

Comment by How You Doin Blondie

oh and how tastey it will be.

Adam

Comment by theroadnow

I feel like I’m a 3rd wheel . . .

Comment by Joe

Hang in there Joe. Blondie and I just getting to know each other. I’m sure she will kick me to the crub eventually.

Adam

Comment by theroadnow

Easy guys 🙂

Comment by How You Doin Blondie

Loved your input, really made me laugh :p

Comment by cruxine

Thank you very much 🙂

I will admit though…the beat to that song is kind of catchy

Comment by How You Doin Blondie




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